Coming Out Tips & Advice | Out With Ryan

COMING OUT TIPS

Here is 10+ Coming Out Tips & Advice for National Coming Out Day (Oct 11). These Coming out tips are based on my own coming out experience so please use them wisely.

This advice can be used for teenagers or adults looking to come out safely, as well as for parents and caregivers to read as a resource.

11 Coming Out Tips & Advice | LGBT+ Resource

11 Coming Out Tips & Advice for Coming Out Day

Coming out is a personal decision. If you decide that today is your day, congratulations! If you decide that it is not your time, congratulations on knowing yourself & setting healthy boundaries! Your day will come. No matter what, keep loving yourself & know you are loved.

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Coming Out Tip #1:

“Come out when you’re ready, not when other people want you to.”

So many people knew I was gay before I even came to terms. Friends were trying to force me to come out because “everyone already knows” or “no one’s going to be shocked”. The truth is that I wasn’t mentally or emotionally ready to come out when others wanted me to. It’s your choice, so don’t force yourself to come out because others want you to come out.

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Coming Out Tip #2:

“Don’t let anyone tell you being gay is wrong.”

There’s nothing wrong with being gay. It’s okay to be gay. In fact, it’s fabulous! If people say you’re wrong for being gay, ignore them. People will say you’re different and that it is wrong to be different. I’m here to tell you that it’s not wrong to be different. It’s okay to be different. You’re unique and fabulous! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!

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Coming Out Tip #3:

“Come out to someone if you think you’re safe.”

Many people who are out and proud grew up in a safe space. They are proud to be advocates for coming out, but this also influences people to come out in places that aren’t safe spaces. Not all people grow up in safe spaces, which is why my coming out advice is to come out if you think you’re safe.

I didn’t feel safe to come out until I was 21 and financially capable of coming out in case my family rejected me and forced me out of the house. Being forced out of homes for being gay is very common, and so is LGBT+ Youth Homelessness. I decided to come out when I felt safe, but you don’t have to take my advice, I just wanted to share why I think this coming out tip is important and overshadowed by the benefits of coming out and not really the consequences of coming out, unfortunately.

Just in Canada alone, approx 25-40% of homeless youth identify as LGBTQI2S. These are youth that have been kicked out of their homes, and it truly upsets me to hear LGBT+ youth leave home or are kicked out for who they are. If you or someone you know if a youth is in need of support, please reach out to www.Egale.ca/OUTreach

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Coming Out Tip #4:

“Try coming out to someone close to you. Their support will give you the strength to tell others.”

The best coming out advice I got was “choose the best and most supportive person you know to come out to”. From a best friend to supportive siblings, find someone close to come out to.

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Coming Out Tip #5:

“Practice coming out to yourself in the mirror”

As silly as this coming out advice might seem, practising in the mirror helped me say what I needed to say to others and allowed me to say it face to face with myself. It allowed me to “come out” to myself which is such an important phase for acceptance and self-confidence.

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Coming Out Tip #6:

“There are people that will support you ad some that won’t. Don’t worry about the ones that don’t.

Whether family, loved ones, friends or support groups, there will also be someone who will support you. The internet is also full of people who will support you. I found the most supportive people over the internet via YouTube, Instagram, Tumblr, etc. Don’t focus on those who don’t accept you. They are not worth your time or life.

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Coming Out Tip #7:

“You’re brave and wonderful the way you are. You don’t need to change to make others happy.⁠”

You may be in a dark place in life, but keep reminding yourself that you are strong and wonderful just the way you are. Don’t let others put you down, and don’t put yourself down. Keep fighting. Things will get better.

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Coming Out Tip #8:

“Don’t feel pressured to come out.” 

It’s okay if you don’t feel ready. If it’s not your time, it’s not your time. Just know you are not alone. Coming out isn’t mandatory on National Coming Out Day, but it helps to find ways to affirm your self-worth.

 
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Coming Out Tip #9:

“Do not OUT someone or pressure anyone to come out either “

Coming out is the person’s choice, not anyone else’s (even if you’re also gay, it doesn’t give you the right to out someone). Don’t out someone to other people unless you have their permission to tell others. This is very dangerous for people who aren’t out yet for many reasons. Just don’t do it.

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Coming Out Tip #10:

“Someone might come out to you. Be supportive and show them that you care.⁠”

Coming out takes a lot of courage, so please be nice and supportive, even if you didn’t expect it or understand it fully. Just be nice and treat them the same way you did before knowing.

 
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Coming Out Tip #11:

“Please please please don’t come out as a joke because it’s trending.”

Last, but not least, don’t joke about “coming out” or joke about someone’s coming out. This day is serious for the LGBTQ+ community. Don’t make a joke out of it or abuse it since it’s a trend if you don’t actually identify with the community.

 
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Thanks for reading my coming out tips and advice.

Share these tips on social and feel free to comment below any coming out tips or advice you have for our LGBT+ community!

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Ryan Thomas Woods is the voice behind Out With Ryan. He’s an LGBTQ+ Activist & Travel writer for this website and many other publications. He was recently voted 2018’s Travel Influencer of Year in Canada and dedicated the award to all LGBTQ+ travelers making the world a better & safer space for our community, as he strives to do on his website & social platforms.

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